American joke - 飛び級できる秀才児の回答は・・・!?
Back To School...

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, 'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'

Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: *'Pants.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Fire truck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last five questions wrong.




【2009/05/20 14:37 】 | 教育 | コメント(0) | トラックバック(0)
American joke - 刺激的な一週間のレシピ!
MONDAY: It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.

TUESDAY: Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper.

WEDNESDAY: A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.

THURSDAY: Today Tom asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients, lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden.

FRIDAY: I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

SATURDAY: Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday (oh boy).For some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.

SUNDAY: Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.

GOOD NIGHT DEAR DIARY. This has been a very exciting week. I am eager for tomorrow to come so I can try out a new recipe on Tom. If I can talk Tom into buying a bigger oven, I would like to surprise him with chocolate moose.


【2006/11/21 22:20 】 | 教育 | コメント(0) | トラックバック(0)
American joke - 高齢者であることの特典!

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

2. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

3. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.

4. People call at 9 PM and ask, " Did I wake you ???? "

5. You can live without sex but not your glasses.

6. Things you buy now won't wear out.

7. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

8. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

9. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

10. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

11. You can't remember who sent you this lis

And you'll notice that these are all in BIG PRINT for your convenience


【2006/11/12 16:16 】 | 教育 | コメント(1) | トラックバック(0)
Voice of America on October 16th. 2006
ニュースを英文で読んで英語が学習でき、それを音声で聞いて英語が勉強できるという、一度で二度美味しいサイト"Voice of America"から、今日はアメリカの農家が販売価格を維持するためにジャガイモの生産を調整し始めた、という話題を紹介!
英題は"Farmers Organize to Try to Control Potato Supply"で、詳しい内容はhttp://www.voanews.com/specialenglish/2006-10-16-voa1.cfmにアクセスすべし!

アメリカ人も以前の様にはジャガイモを食べなくなった、と副題が書かれた記事だが、以前に子供づれでアメリカに旅行した時には、kids menuに添え物として着いてくる茹でたジャガイモだけでも大人の主食になるボリュームだっただけに俄かには信じがたい!


Grower:a person or company that grows fruit or vegetables in order to sell them
crop:a plant such as wheat, rice, or fruit that is grown by farmers and used as food



【2006/10/18 22:31 】 | 教育 | コメント(0) | トラックバック(0)
The Discoverers of Hawai'i - No.3
Melanesia had been inhabited by dark-skinned peoples long before their arrival, New Guinea for more than 30,000 years. We may call the newcomers Proto-Polynesians, a people changing culturelly and physically, becoming but not yet Polynesian. Although they shared a culture, they may have lived in many groups, some exploring northward into the area of small islands now known as Micronesia and contributing to the ancestry of Micronesians, others acquiring Melanesian genes during periods of settlement along the northern coast of New Guinea or in the many islands of Malenesia. The trail of Lapita pottery leads eastward to Fiji, apparently settled by a people of mixed Proto Polynesian and Malanesian ancestry.

Searching farther to the east, others found uninhabited islands in Samoa - where finds of pottery are 3,000 years old - and Tonga. Here in this "Cradle of Polynesia," perhaps no more than a few canoe loads of Proto-Polynesia arrived. Over centuries they evolved the distinctive physical and cultural traits now regarded as Polynesian.

Later explorations continued the habit of moving eastward. Unable to sail against the prevailing easterly winds, they would have waited for periods of unsettled weather when wind shifts, brought about by the passage of low pressure troughs, enable to make their easting on winds varing from the north, west, or south. The Tahitian Islands and the Marquesas Islands were discovered, and became new homelands which spawned explorations to the outer limits of Polynesia. Hawai'i was discovered to the north at some time before 1,900 years ago, Easter Island (Rapa Nui) to the southeast, and New Zealand (Aoteroa) to the southwest - the three corners of a triangle equal in size to the combined surfaces of North and South America.
(To be continued...)


【2006/10/13 17:27 】 | 教育 | コメント(0) | トラックバック(0)
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